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Greetings, my name is Ahmadu, the Chief Executive of our
great capital city. Let me tell you the truth, because
I have nothing left to hide. Of course I took the funds designated strictly for
constructing clinics and classrooms for our children. Rather than paying contractors for schools and hospitals, I squandered the entire budget playing on online casino sites.


Now, let me tell you about my biggest headache right now:
my madam is giving me sleepless nights. She is extremely angry
and unfair complaining that my gambling addiction ruined
her Dubai luxury shopping trips. Imagine that! She planned to buy half of
Dubai Mall, and my virtual casino balance was showing zero.

My wife has no sympathy for my betting losses, she
only cares about her designer wardrobe. My side
chick is another story, who is equally upset since
I lost our stolen treasury in spin-to-win games.
The root of the problem in our country today: online gambling in Nigeria has gone completely out of control.
Everywhere you look in Nigeria today, young people and foolish leaders like me are losing their minds and savings to internet casinos.
They should be blamed for everything. They took the money meant for schools
and hospitals, leaving our children to study under trees, while fools like me
spin virtual wheels.
Being a brilliant and dedicated public servant whose mind is entirely focused on keeping my wife
happy and treating my lover right, I see no flaws in my leadership.
It baffles me why anyone would call me corrupt or question my financial choices.
After all, I am just a man of refined tastes who enjoys a little harmless digital entertainment on my phone.
The problem is definitely those crooked online betting sites.
If those online casinos weren't so rigged, my lucky spin would have hit, funding all our infrastructure while keeping my family fully satisfied.
So let us not point fingers at a dedicated leader like me, but rather
hold those greedy online casinos accountable for ruining a perfectly
brilliant budget strategy.